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Indices and Commodities: Dow Jones Industrial Average: 34,500 (+1.2%) • NASDAQ Composite: 14,000 (+0.8%) • Gold: $1,900 • Silver: $25.30 • Bitcoin: $48,000 • Major Stocks: Apple: $150 (+0.3%)Tesla: $750 (-0.4%)

FORTUNENET

Uncovering the Truth

Hedge Fund Fraud ExposedOnline Casinos Surge in 2025CEO’s Secret Offshore Accounts

Micah’s Memos

Micah, a liberal writer with a laptop and globe

The Wall Street fat cats think they can hide their dirty laundry behind golden parachutes, but I’m here to spill the beans! Take the latest hedge fund fiasco—execs siphoning millions into offshore accounts while preaching “ethical investing.” Hypocrisy much? These guys make Bernie Madoff look like a choirboy. It’s time for real transparency, not just performative ESG reports!

Satirical cartoon of a bank withdrawal with caption about reducing net worth to zero

Copyright 2025 FORTUNENET

DJ Powers’ Hot Takes

Daniel Jeffery Powers with a typewriter labeled Steinbeck

Online casinos are the new Wild West, but instead of gunslingers, we’ve got crypto bros betting their life savings on digital slots! The latest trend? NFT gambling—because nothing screams “smart investment” like wagering on a pixelated monkey. Word on the street: Vegas is shaking in its boots as these platforms rake in billions. Bet smart, folks!

From the Bucket Seat

The Market’s Crystal Ball: Predictions Gone Wrong

Ever wonder what the market’s future holds? Our crystal ball says… absolutely nothing useful! Back in 1929, economist Irving Fisher famously predicted a “permanently high plateau” for stocks—just days before the crash. Fast forward to 2025, and we’re still seeing wild guesses: a hedge fund manager bet big on flying cars by 2023. Spoiler: we’re still grounded. Trust the Bucket Seat—sometimes the best prediction is no prediction at all!

60 Cycle Companion

Top Tracks for High-Stakes Gamblers

Crank up the volume while you roll the dice with these tunes! “The Gambler” by Kenny Rogers is a classic for any poker night—know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em. Feeling lucky? Spin “Viva Las Vegas” by Elvis Presley to channel that Sin City vibe. For the crypto bros betting on NFTs, “Money for Nothing” by Dire Straits hits just right. Rock on and bet wisely!

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“Insider leaks CEO’s $10M tax dodge!” - Anonymous, May 2025

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